The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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