I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
