If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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