Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
