Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
