Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
