oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
