Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
