you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
