i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize