I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
