i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
