I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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