we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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