Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
