i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
