so that wasnt chicken after all
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
