I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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