If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
