So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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