it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
