My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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