Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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