I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just google imaged poop.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
