Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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