Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
