So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
