thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
