Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
