he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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