White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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