it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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