the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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