Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
