I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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