Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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