Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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