Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
