So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
