I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
