You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
