Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
