yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
