I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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