im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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