So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize