she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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