i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
