she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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