He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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