He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
