i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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