I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize