I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
