WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
