His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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