I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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