Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
